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"no ones responding"

I’m imagining someone like Piers Morgan getting really upsetting about not getting enough ‘likes’ and feeling like he has to change something about himself

saying “I swear on my mother” in front of mom

I remember understanding the concept of lying when I was 5 and trying it out on my mom like I had acquired a superpower or something

I was lying

say word I’ve got 2 million followers on Facebook, oh wait damn I’m not the Subway sandwiches Facebook

I watch bad stand up videos on YouTube till I throw up

I’m going to start leaving voicemails

I love the way she lights up around other men

"bad vibes"

ester rifke

champagne in the membrane