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crystal won’t let me sip ‘lean’ (grapefruit juice) in a styrofoam cup because they’re bad for the environment :/

➜ Danish People Are Crazy for Cocio Chocolate Milk | MUNCHIES

I got a six month supply in bed-stuy if ya need

I always think it’s funny to say ‘adultish’ things to kids (ask them about current events or if they’re thinking about settling down)

but my niece and nephews give me that ‘I know what you’re doing and it’s not funny’ look - then I feel bad

"YOU BETTER BE HAPPY BECAUSE I WASN’T HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU" - Parents! AmIRight kids?

big city ‘when success arrives’ feeling

“I’ll email you” = “I will avoid contact at all costs unless your friendship can benefit me for some reason :)”

Amazon needs a catholic delay filter because next day delivery for my ‘sexual wellness’ order feels wrong

my ‘actual office’ is actually just a desk in the ‘break room’ and that ‘break room’ and just my basement apartment in canarsie

I call the couch the ‘home office’ because my actual office is where I eat pizza and watch movies

(tumbld from my home office / lol)

MONDAYS WAAAHHH / THE EBOLA-NSA-STUB-YOUR-TOE DAY OF THE WEEK

forget Monday morning hate /

I hate Friday mornings,

I know that ‘what are you up to this weekend?’ question is an excuse to talk about your ‘kickball league’ dude

Not falling for that trap / I’m going to drink more than I need to and eat a cheeseburger for breakfast like the rest of Brooklyn

THEME BY PARTI